Maybe it's because the holidays are behind us ( and by that I basically mean Christmas ), or it's a new year, but I find myself lately with such a cheery disposition about life in general. Maybe it's the sugar free lifestyle we've adopted or just the general hope and optimism that comes from getting a fresh start with a clean slate. I'm not sure what it is, but I like it. The past month was a real struggle for me. I found myself focusing on the many obstacles and road blocks in life keeping me from where I wanted to go, but now though the obstacles and road blocks are still in place, I am not nearly as concerned about just how we are going to get through it all, but calm and peaceful about us being able to do so.
Last year took me to places I never expected to be, like the ER and through my first ever surgery. I never thought I'd be a homeless home owner, or have the finanical burdens we have. When I started the year I never expected to end the year in another state, or to have to say goodbye to our little home and yard and our favorite neighbors. I never expected to find a rental that was so affordable or landlords that were so understanding and easy going. We thought we'd have to re-home our dog and he is still here with us today. Yes, what a ride, what a twisty, turny, upside down, worse than the scariest roller coaster at times, sort of ride. But, we made it and we learned a lot in the process.
For a short time, everything was out of control and no matter what we couldn't gain the perspective necessary to make it through, and when that happened as often can depression sets in, negative messages are being constantly broadcast in our brains and we lose a little hope and faith and we be-moan every little stumbling block, then as can happen we lose our connection to our Savior, just when we need him the most. We were not active at church for about 3 months, trying to process everything on our own and make sense of it without His help and guidance.
But, by December we saw that we needed to make a change and go back to church, so as many people do on Christmas Sunday we went back, and we heard a little of what we needed to hear, messages like: make room for Christ in your life. Then we went back again and heard a little bit more of what we needed to hear, like ". . . it is not requisite that we should run faster than we have strength" ( Mosiah 4:27 this passage is from the Book of Mormon which is a companion scripture to the Bible ). Bit by bit, week after week attending church has made such a difference in our life - though essentially none of our trials our troubles have changed.
I have traveled the path of life without a closeness to my Savior, Jesus Christ ( though I know he is never far ) and I have also traveled with Him by my side, and I can honestly say that knowing that He is there, as my friend and companion is the only way to get through all of the crazy twists and turns we encounter in our lives. By going to church, and committing to following His ways and reaching out to others the way He did and by studying the passages of scripture in both the Bible and my Book of Mormon I can learn how to make it through anything. I can learn how ancient people coped with some of the same struggles and trials that I am struggling with, and learn from their mistakes instead of continually making them myself.
We all go through periods of independence and wanting to do it on our own, much like a young child that says, "Let me do it" or "Me do" but the true miracles happen when we admit that we can't do it and need help. That is where prayer comes in. Maybe it's just a silent thought "I need help I can't do this right now " or maybe you kneel down first recognizing all your blessings and then seeking His guidance, but if we don't ask ( although he already knows we need it ) we don't open that door to Him.
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