Discouraging Day

Yesterday we had the financial aid meeting with ITT Tech, and due to some finanical un-fun stuff Kevin has had to switch from a full time student with the possibility of a $3,000.00 scholarship, to a part time student, with only a pell grant, and lots of loans ( the bigger of which accrue interest while he is in school, the smaller of which is interest free).  And, instead of being able to get his associate degree in TWO years, if he has to remain a part time student it will take him THREE years to graduate instead of two, making school even more expensive than it already is!  My knee jerk reaction would be just to talk him out of it, avoid the un-fun issues we are battling, and keep on doing the best we can.   But, I know how excited he is and how sure he is this time around and I could never do that to him.  We were met with a many a roadblock yesterday, and this is going to be so expensive, but if this is what he wants to do, and he will be happier, I want this for him.  I just pray and pray that the Lord has big things for us in mind job-wise after he graduates, because 6 mos. later we are going to be swimming in a pretty big sea of student loan debt and without a really good job, we will continue to struggle to keep afloat even AFTER getting schooling taken care of.  I want to feel positive and encouraged about it, but instead I feel defeated and depressed, and overwhelmed.  I think starting out part-time after not being in classes for such a long time will be a good thing for him, dipping his toe in the water and slowly wading in, but three years feels so far away, and seems like such a long time right now, and should he decide to move forward and continue towards a Bachelors that would make SIX years ( Long enough for a Masters in most schools ) in school and would mean even BIGGER loan payments at the end of it all. 

We also have been trying to find and purchase a second vehicle, suitable for the commute, since we realized we would need one, and that has been a major challenge as well.  So all in all, we had a very discouraging day.  Hearing "No", and having to change plans really left us feeling so frustrated, still feeling that this is the RIGHT decision ( though we are very uncertain of how it is all going to work out at the end), just experiencing a few bumps along the way.

Sorry for the gloomy post.  I try not to bring my readers down, but for my own sanity I needed to write all these frustrations down, hoping to put them aside, and feel better.  I hope to reflect back on it someday, after all the schooling is past and Kevin is gainfully employed and happier and realize how silly I was to worry.  I will try to make my next blog post extra cheery.  "Thanks for noticing me."